The Nick Abbot Habit

00:02 This is a global production. Oh, it's a good one for you this week. In these clips, we were waiting for a report from a person who may or may not exist. And I predicted a coup by a man in horrible shorts. Phil tweets listening to the news has helped clarify the situation regarding the inquiry into just how pig ignorant our prime minister is. Oh, It might be published in the next few hours or over the weekend or sometimes next week or not. Yeah, oh, that's right, yeah. 00:34 Sue Gray's report will be given to the PM either now or maybe a little bit later or tomorrow or never. 00:43 And as soon as the Prime Minister receives Sue Gray's report, he's going to file it carefully in the shredder. 00:49 And then he's going to give the shreds to his dog. 00:53 And then he's going to leave his dog on a bus. 00:57 just to be sure. 01:01 But, you know, we've got another investigation on top of the Sue Gray investigation, which will be the Met Police's investigation, who will investigate thoroughly before coming to the verdict of not guilty. 01:14 Not guilty. 01:23 Wigan. Hello, Barbara. 01:25 Nick, how are you? I am great, mate. 01:28 Right, Nick, you're really letting me down tonight. The ones who would be queen spent £500,000 on her private little jet going to Australia. 01:40 You've not told us about that yet. 01:42 Well, give us a chance. I've only just begun. I've only just begun. 01:46 Sing! 01:49 You've all read your speakers. Oh, no, OK, I was kidding. Yet the Brains Trust hired a personal plane for her own self for a half a million of your pounds. 02:01 You believe that? All painted in Peppa Pig pink. 02:06 Peppa Pig pink. Peppa Pig world. Peppa Pig world is... Peppa Pig? 02:11 Peppa Pig is the right answer. Well done, Bodge. 02:16 Oh, yeah, you're amazing. You keep me waiting after bloomin' night laughing. All right, thanks a lot, Barbara. Amazing? What, like science fiction, you mean? 02:27 One of my favourite lines in The Sopranos. Absolutely. Hey, boss, you look amazing. 02:33 What, like science fiction? LAUGHTER Maybe I need to watch that programme again, again, again, again. I must have seen it all the way through, maybe four times now, The Sopranos. Best television programme ever. Correct. 02:50 I think it's where this regime gets all of its ideas. 02:54 Because they do resemble organised crime, don't they? Affirmative. Yeah, a little bit. 03:02 Bruce emails, I have it on good authority that when the Sue Gray report is released, King Charles III will declare a public holiday. 03:12 We're never going to see it. We're never going to see it. We are never going to see it. Nothing will ever come of any of this at all. Boris Johnson will continue in his post. His fans will be just giddy with delight. They'll be dancing in the streets because he's doing his best. 03:27 And he's going to be our next leader and the leader after that and the leader after that. 03:32 We're stuck with him now forever. 03:34 He's going to start putting pictures of himself in town squares, three stories high. 03:40 We're all going to meet in that town square at six o'clock every morning to declare fealty to the dear leader. 03:49 In Bodge We Trust is going to be printed on our money. 03:59 Peter Tex, this stinks. It seems obvious to me that this is a stitch-up between the Met Police and the government. It's designed to take the sting out of the Sue Gray Report and try to solve Bodger's Bacon. 04:09 Bodger's Bacon. Peppa Pig World. Yeah, that's where you get Bodger's Bacon. Peppa Pig World. 04:20 Well, I'll get into it in a minute. It feels like I haven't actually started yet. I've just flipped my lid and become a little bit unhinged. But it weren't my fault. They did it to me. 04:34 Deliberately. 04:38 Rona texts, I watched Don't Look Up. What a film. I loved it. Mark Rylance was superb as that repulsive billionaire. Yeah, he was. Really, I mean, he didn't look like Mark Rylance at all. It was really quite excellently well done. 04:52 And he says, and that last dinner table scene was actually quite moving. I thought the music was wonderful. As a huge Philip Glass fan, I'm sure he inspired it. I didn't... Huh. That didn't curse me when I was watching it. I was guffawing. 05:05 too much superb film you want to check it out don't look up as i mentioned last week it's it's like a more intelligent version of um idiocracy which i also recommend thoroughly it used to be a um as i've said many times it used to be a comedy about the future now it's a documentary about the present This is how far we've fallen, and this person... Oh, shut up! ..and this person... Yeah, yeah, yeah, where do we... ..are responsible. 05:38 Leading Britain's conversation, LBC, with Nick Abbott. 05:43 I think he's portraying a quite stupefying ignorance. 05:48 Thanks, Bodge, you're the best. 05:51 Chris texts your Gavin Williamson impression is very close to Alan Bennett. You never see him in the same room together. 06:01 Hello. 06:07 I'll tell Vladimir Putin to shut up and go away. 06:12 Tom texts, this is like two in a row on the Nicky Abbott show, Tom texts, our British weather, much better than the French have, much better than the Belgians have, much better than the Americans have, and that doesn't surprise me at all because we're a much better country than every single one of them. 06:26 Painful. We need him to come back. He can poke Vladimir Putin with a sharp carrot. 06:34 Gore. Hello, Pete. 06:37 Hi, Nick. Great show. Thanks. Appreciate it. I was wondering to ask your advice in the new corporate fascist state that we seem to be living in. Do you think I'd be allowed to set up... A sedan chair business. And where would it work in the priority for the highway code, the rearranged highway code? I wonder if he could give me some advice about that. 07:07 Yeah, it's after pedestrians but before horses. That's where the... The sedan chair priority would be inserted. Yeah, it's an excellent idea. 07:16 Yeah, OK. Yeah, it would be a green mood, wouldn't it? 07:21 Eco-friendly, that's right. 07:23 Yes, that's right. 07:24 Or, as it's known these days, going woke. 07:28 Boo! 07:31 Yeah, thanks, Pete. All right, cheers, Pete. If I hear the word woke, spoken by morons, one more time, I'm going to scream... 07:41 Go woke, go broke. I must have read that a thousand times this week. 07:49 All these armchair experts. Go woke, go broke. What are you talking about? 07:57 And David Frost, excuse me, but who the hell is David Frost? Who is he? I mean, apart from anything else, he looks like sick, like somebody's moulded him out of plasticine. He looks like the sickest person you've ever seen in your life. Get some sunshine, David Frost, for it's too late. 08:14 Vitamin D, seriously lacking. 08:17 But I do believe that he is an unelected bureaucrat, which is precisely why people voted to leave the European Union, wasn't it? To be rid of unelected bureaucrats. And now he seems to have eyes on running the country. Nobody wanted you in that position. 08:34 Boris Johnson has to ditch the woke agenda. What on earth does that mean? 08:42 You mean being concerned for other people and the planet that we live on? Is that what you mean? 08:48 Go woke, go broke. 08:50 God, they just repeat the same asinine phrase over and over again. 08:56 The comment section of the bloomin' Daily Mail drives me up the wall, but I can't stop reading it. I'm addicted to it. I'm as addicted to that as I am to Wordle. 09:07 Whoever invented Wordle, then, I don't know, they need to be punished to the full extent of the law. 09:15 An excellent way to waste, like, ages, it seems like. Ages and ages I was staring at that today. Very, very difficult. Got it just in time. 09:27 Mike takes, you think his shorts are a problem? He's wearing my football team's hat. Grimsby Town. 09:34 Well, Grim is right. 09:39 Ick tweets, probably not how you pronounce it, but it's spelled I-K. Beep. 09:44 Ick tweets, Wordle usually only takes me a couple of minutes, but today's was hard. 09:49 Yeah, thanks Ick, but we don't wish to know that. 09:55 People boasting about how quickly... I'll tell you what drives me up the wall. Although I did this myself, but only in jest. Two days in a row I was amazed that I got the word on the second guess. 10:07 And so I alerted Twitter. I said... Warning! Warning! News coming in... 10:14 I'll put it all in caps because that makes it funnier. 10:20 You know, I just got the last two days wordles in two goes, but I don't want to make a big deal out of it. See? Funny, no? No. 10:31 But I'll be staring at a crossword like on the back of the Daily Telegraph. I like the Daily Telegraph. The cartoon on the front and the crossword on the back. It's what's in the middle what concerns me. 10:44 But the crossword on the back, and there's a help site, and you'll go to it, and people will say, oh, I got today's in, I completed it very, very easy today. I completed mine in five minutes while I was driving. 10:58 You know, I was giving birth at the time, and I completed today's in three minutes. 11:07 I was halfway up Ben Nevis, clinging on with one hand and doing the crossword with the other, and I completed it in 30 seconds, actually. 11:16 And I've been staring at mine for three days, and I've still only got, like, two words in it. Just racking my brain. 11:26 This is a recording of me racking my brain. 11:35 I'm going to start just posting messages to websites like that. Oh, today's so easy, today. I've got it in 15 seconds. 11:44 That'll show them. 11:46 Alan tweets, did you sort your new TV out yet? Just asking. Yes, I did. 11:52 It is spectacular. Oh. 11:56 I can see absolutely everything in ultra-high definition, by which I mean almost nothing, because there are almost no programmes at all in super-high-def 4K. 12:08 I mean, it's been around for, what, 50, 60 years now? It seems like forever. And nobody's putting anything out in 4K. You've got the David Attenborough show, and that's it. 12:21 Blooming rubbish. 12:25 That TV's going back. 12:29 You'll have to prize that television out of my cold, dead hands. 12:34 Matthew tweets, the current weather is the good weather. Hot weather needs to stay away. Stop complaining and enjoy the cold. Well, there's nothing good about cold, you aegers. 12:43 And I mean that in a nice way. 12:46 This is not the good weather. This is the bad weather. Foolish person. 12:51 Penny texts. My MP, who is also a shadow minister, posts her wordles on Twitter every day. Well, you should tell your MP to stick it, Penny. 13:04 In the nicest possible way. 13:06 East Yorkshire. Hello, Mike. 13:08 Hi, Nick. How are you? 13:09 I am great, mate. 13:11 Good, good. Yeah, you've got to give Johnson some credit this week because this is the biggest dead cat that there's ever been. The super redacted Sue Gray report that comes out, we'll have them arguing about the redactions for at least a week. We're completely distracting from what the report's actually about. 13:33 He will be able to say that under instruction from Her Majesty's Police Force, we are unable to bring you details of what it is that Sue Gray's report has revealed. We can't actually even tell you if there is a Sue Gray report or, in fact, whether Sue Gray really exists as a person and not just a concept. 13:55 Exactly. We're talking about British justice and natural justice and the fact that these reactions have to occur. It will go on and on and on and on and distract totally from the reality of it. 14:09 It will go on long enough for people not to want to talk about it anymore, which is... And we're moving into that area, like through... Like we're sort of going through a cloud of mist or those... 14:22 Those plastic strips that they put in doorways to keep flies out, you know what I'm talking about? Those multicoloured plastic strips. They used to have them in shops in Soho. 14:33 Disgusting. Fly screens, yeah. 14:36 Yeah, the fly screens, yeah. This entire population is moving through the fly screen of ennui, like we just don't care anymore because this is like old news. We want new news, new things to get excited and angry about. 14:47 I mean, we've had the dogs from Afghanistan again this week, but that's got completely wiped out with the Sue Gray thing and the police and the net. And actually, I think it's my gut feeling is he probably didn't have too much to do with that. But when he's such a... Your gut feeling? No, my sort of gut feeling is he probably didn't have a huge thing to do with it. But he's such a liar that nobody believes him now, whatever he's accused of. That's absolutely true. 15:15 And this is part of why this is important, because we've got the person who is leading this country who, in times of great peril and danger, will want the people of this country to listen to what he's saying and trust what he's saying and act accordingly. And nobody believes a word that bloke says. So this is important, people. Don't let him get away with this. 15:38 Thanks, Mike. 15:42 I bet the next hour is just full of H-A-P-P whiners. 15:50 On the other hand, it might not be. 15:53 Do you mind if I say a few words? Thank you. 15:56 Julius texts, your opening remarks about Bozo's strange predilection for workers' cosplay. Is it cosplay or cosplay? 16:03 You know, dressing up in other people's clothing. 16:06 What is that? Well, I know exactly what that's about. It's just another attempt to distract us and to present himself as trustworthy. How's that going, by the way? Oh, fabulous. He says, it reminded me that recently he dressed up as a policeman, something to do with him being hard on drugs. 16:24 Want to score some pot? 16:25 Yeah. Unfortunately, no police person's uniform came in his size. 16:31 He was bursting out of it. 16:34 He says, anyway, as this is an indictable offence, perhaps he should also investigate himself for impersonating a policeman or a prime minister, says Julius. Yeah, or in his running shorts, impersonating a human being. I've never seen a human being look like that before. 16:49 Nathan texts, make Britain hate again. What do you mean again? I don't know where you're living, Nathan, but this country hates just plenty. 16:59 Always has. 17:02 let's have a call in beautiful downtown Pimlico. Alex. 17:08 Oh, hi, Nick. How are you? Great, mate. Nick, you know, you mentioned this two years already, you know, Boris Johnson become prime minister, this country become a mess. 17:18 Yes. 17:18 What I can see is direction he's taken us, Britain, to almost become like a toolkit. I think you're missing the big one. Yeah, you're missing the big one. What he has actually done is followed Donald Trump. Oh, shut up! In every way, shape and form. Everything that this government does is guided by the principle, what would Donald Trump do? 17:56 Yeah, but unfortunately, you know, sometimes people are thinking this is funny. It is not funny. If you know it's not funny, it's just incredible. He died every single day. He's lying. 18:06 Yeah. 18:07 Well, it used to be funny, but that joke's not funny anymore. 18:11 He misleading everybody. And he thinks it's funny. You know, it's not funny. He's basically treating people with contempt. 18:20 Yes, which is funny to him because he's getting away with it. Always has done. His entire life. 18:27 The public need to wake up and smell their coffee and kick him out, to be honest. Right. 18:31 OK, wake up, sheeple. 18:34 It's later than you think. 18:36 Thanks a lot, Alex. 18:40 51 weeks in jail for you. 18:44 Paul tweets, I have a brand new three-word slogan. Get Boris gone. 18:50 David says, even North Korea are looking at us and blushing. Billy says, Johnson must smirk himself to sleep at night and then wake up laughing. Yeah, exactly right. They do wake up laughing. Oh-ho! 19:08 they must think they just must not be able to believe quite how easily it is to be getting away with it quite how gullible just enough people are that they can continue to get away with it and I bet that if there was a general election tomorrow people would still vote him back in because oh I don't know they want to avoid chaos with Jeremy Corbyn Because he got Brexit done. 19:44 How is that whole Brexit thing going, by the way? 19:46 Brexit's going great. 19:47 Yeah, sure it is. 19:51 Simon texts... A mirror? 20:06 Yeah, probably not. 20:08 Jotex, for people who have no knowledge of cake, they should watch the 1997 Brass Eye documentary, Drugs. 20:15 Want to score some pot? 20:16 Yeah, that's right. 20:18 Bodger had cake at his party. I bet he did. And then he danced for like eight hours. And the water he got through. 20:27 Jake tweets, the only difference between Trump and Boris at this point is Trump never hid who he was. He had Covid parties and we all knew about them. Bodger pretended to be a good and very concerned boy. 20:38 Yeah, there's some truth in that, I guess. 20:41 Trump never hid who he was. Yeah. While Bodger tries to cloak himself in this veil of decency. 20:53 Doesn't look believable to my eye. 20:57 Billy text, Nick, difficult questions, who's worse, Boris or Donald Trump? 21:02 Yeah. 21:03 I mean, the thing about Donald Trump is, as I just said, he doesn't pretend to be anybody else. 21:11 So maybe he's actually, I can't believe I'm about to say this, maybe Donald Trump is a better person than anybody would be a shocking statement right now. 21:25 He's not a nice person. Donald Trump is not a nice person. See? 21:29 When they tell you, pay attention. 21:33 Every now and again, he'll tell you something that's true. I'm a person that wants to tell the truth. I'm an honest person. Apart from that. 21:39 Hang on, Nick. Listen. Now, what I'm trying to say to you is this, Nick, right? 21:45 Let's have a call in Harlow. Tom, Harlow. 21:49 Harlow, Nick. Harlow. 21:52 Hello, how are you? Hello. Yes, Tom. 21:55 Hello. 21:56 Yes. 21:56 Hello. Hello. After all of these repetitive stories in the media regarding us and America, there's one simplification I've made. I just made that word up about the whole thing, right? 22:09 Yeah. 22:10 One thing that America needs to do and one thing that we need to do. America needs to stop electing people that were born in the 1940s to lead their country through a crisis. 22:20 Right. 22:21 And I know that sounds horrible, but I will back that up. And we need to stop mirroring that in the image of the class system to believe that they are the only people that can run countries. 22:31 Yeah. Can we have a few fewer people who went to Eton in positions of power in this country? Just a couple would be nice. 22:39 I don't understand how we got to a point for so long to believe that people that went to Eton could understand the life of everybody else that didn't. I don't understand how that... 22:51 It's the class system. 22:55 We are riven with it. We are a nation of cap doffers. To anybody what talks posh, we will genuflect. You're better informed than I am. I don't know anything. It doesn't matter how stupid they are. It doesn't matter how asinine their pronouncements. If they say it in an upper class accent, we will assume that they were born to lead us. That's who we are in this country. 23:20 I believe that too, but I think with Mr. Johnson, as we would like to call him, I think he won up that. He was of that calibre, but became a lovable celebrity for our tenure of politics. Quite frankly, the idol person didn't really know what he did. I don't believe a lot of people could name the single thing he ever did to improve life. He just made someone laugh from the internet. 23:43 Yeah, he's the funny bloke off the telly. 23:48 Yeah, it's painful. It is, yeah. 23:50 I am actually physically in pain at the moment. I just don't think I can stand it anymore. It's just got... And that's going to be the feeling throughout the country that we just can't stand it anymore. So we don't want to hear about it anymore. We don't want to talk about it anymore. And by extension, he will get away with it. 24:06 One thing I don't get about him, though, is that, in my opinion, I think he, in terms of earning money, I think he pulled the wrong move. He's a politician. He gets a set wage. And I think he could have made far much more money as a touring comedian. Not just him, but several members of the cabinet. Because sometimes when I look at them, I think the statire is genius, except this is actually the life we live. This is reality. 24:28 I look at the speeches and the things they say and I just think that would be so funny if it wasn't real. 24:33 I know you're making a joking point, but they do. He does complain about the amount of money that he earns now. How on earth can you get by on only, I can't remember exactly how much it is, 180 grand a year or something like that, and all your expenses are paid for to the tune of about a quarter of a million pounds a year, something like that. How on earth can one man live on only 300,000 a year with absolutely everything free? 25:02 Everywhere he goes, it's free. His travel is free. His food is free. His booze is free. His socialising is free. His holidays are free. Everything is free. And he still can't bring himself to admit that he's well off. He's always complaining, complaining, complaining. 25:19 Whinging and whining and moaning. 25:21 But it's a small privation that he's going to have to go through before leaving office and at which point he will be buried up to his eyeballs in money. 25:34 Any amount of money that he would have been able to earn on the private sector by skipping politics entirely, by just resting on his laurels as the ex-mayor of London, pales into insignificance with the amount of money that he will earn after office, as long as he does it on a perfumed cloud of glory. If he is kicked out... 26:00 in shame, then that will be an impediment to his ability to monetise his position. 26:07 Tom, I've got to go, but thanks for that. 26:12 Sue says, Cummings was questioned by Sue Gray on Monday, and he had photos, I heard. Has he and his photos been seen since? 26:23 Ha, he's been dealt with, with great vengeance. 26:28 Sue says, he said he has more. Where are they? I don't know, Sue. 26:37 V texts, yet there is 40% of the British population that totally believe him and I think it's worse than him lying in a way the country of idiots. What? 26:47 Shall I read that again? 26:48 No. 26:48 Yet there is 40% of British population that totally believe him and I think is worse than him lying in a way the country of idiots. 27:00 Right. 27:01 OK, well, first of all, to take the first part of your argument there, V, 40% of the British population do not totally believe him. I can't remember what the exact number is, so I'll make it up. 27:15 I think the last survey that I saw was about 20% of the British population that believe that Boris Johnson is telling the truth in every way, shape and form. 20%. And those 20% need their heads examined. 27:32 by a trained professional with a microscope or something and a hammer. 27:40 And as for the rest of your argument there, V, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Can I interest you in some punctuation? 27:50 Smeg tweets from one of the white goods in your kitchen. It's probably a fridge. 27:58 Fastest growing economy in the EU, Mr Lefty, and then an emoticon of somebody, of like a round yellow thing, crying, laughing so hard he's crying. Fastest growing economy in the EU. 28:13 Yet the part that they always forget to say is that we had the biggest crash and the highest excess death rate of any country in the EU. 28:27 So we're coming from a much lower start. 28:33 So of course we have the fastest growing economy in the EU, but I don't think even that's true. 28:41 Any more than it's true that we had the best vaccine rollout and we've got more people vaccinated than any other country in the EU and all this other falsities that they keep chucking at us. Liar! Exactly. 28:53 You're just repeating what they've said, Smeg. 28:58 Have you learned nothing? 29:02 But, you know, people aren't interested in the truth anymore. They're just interested in whatever will allow their side to win. 29:12 And one way you can win an argument, as you will probably remember from the schoolyard, is that if you just keep saying something over and over again... 29:21 I know you are, but what am I? I know you are, but what am I? I know you are, but what am I? And then people just give up. They'd say, OK, you're obviously an insufferable dolt, and I'm not playing this game anymore. And they just walk away, and then you feel you've won. 29:34 So you just keep repeating the same thing again and again and again, and people will politely explain, no, that's not true because of the following. And then you just repeat it again. Oh, we've got the fastest-growing economy in the EU. 29:46 If indeed it's true, which I don't believe it is, then it's only true because you have to put it into context. The context being that we had the biggest economic crash. 29:57 So it doesn't actually say much if it's the fastest growing. I mean, if you start with £10 and you grow that £10 by 10%, then you've got £11. If you start with £1 and you grow it by 200%, you've got £2. 30:15 Which would you rather? The slower-growing £11 or the faster-growing £2? 30:22 But people aren't interested in context. They're just interested in winning. 30:27 And the shortest route to winning is the most preferable. And that is usually a three-word slogan. 30:36 Four at most. And if you really have to, then a short sentence. But just something that you can repeat again and again and again until your adversary gives up and goes away. And then you will have won. 30:49 Let's see what they've won this week. 30:52 Nothing. 30:54 But they still feel like they've won something. 30:59 They get their pleasure wherever they can get it by getting one over on the other side, even if it ruins their own lives while they're doing it. 31:09 That's irrelevant to them. 31:15 Like, for instance, voting to leave the European Union. It's made us all poorer, it's made all of our lives more difficult, and yet pretty much half the population still thinks they've won something. 31:30 And you ask them what they've won, and there's this big pause, and they say, um, uh, sovereignty. 31:37 They're just desperately trying to remember what it was that they were told over and over again would be the benefits of leaving the European Union. 31:45 come to find out that it wasn't Project Fear, it was Project Fact. 31:52 That none of the benefits that were promised have come to pass. 31:58 And it hasn't even got as bad as it's going to yet. 32:03 A longer queue to get to France than the trip between here and France. 32:10 Great. Great. 32:13 Thanks, Nige. You're the best. 32:17 I enjoy working with people. Yes, sure, why not? James texts, the people elected by the public tell us, the public, what we aren't interested in knowing. That's right. 32:29 They do. 32:31 When quizzed by some eager journalist, the minister of the day will tell that journalist that the question, the topic of the question asked, is not what the public wants to know. 32:44 What the public actually want to know about is, and then they reel off the, oh, the vaccine rollout and the world's best economy and on and on and on. 32:58 And they all say the exact same thing, as though we can't compare and contrast between one minister and the next, all saying precisely the same, like automatons. 33:09 Affirmative. 33:11 And they don't hide it. They don't actually change the wording. They just repeat it by rote. 33:18 They're not even trying anymore. 33:22 Because they don't have to. 33:24 They're continuing to get away with it so they're not even making an effort anymore. 33:30 That's the contempt in which they hold us. 33:35 Jennifer tweets, pretty we can't impeach Johnson. 33:39 And Sean says, I think I'm losing my mind listening to some of these knuckle-dragging boneheads with the IQ of a walnut whip continuously defending the monstrosity in number 10. 33:47 Mmm, walnut whips. 33:50 So yummy. 33:53 Do they still have a walnut in a walnut whip? Because they used to have one on the top and inside, and now they only had one last time I looked. 34:01 And I bet it's got smaller as well. But you know me, I never complain. Stop whining. 0345 6060 973. 34:09 Let's have a call in Ealing. Hello, John. 34:12 Hello. John. 34:14 They probably took the walnut whip and very smaller because of Europe. Yes. 34:19 Blimey Europeans coming over here and interfering with our sweet goods. With our walnut whip. 34:25 Yeah. Now, I would say this. I mean, God, honestly, I despair. Listen, I don't understand what's going on with our country. Will they all wake up and realise they're laughing at you? They are stealing from you. They're taking our money. They're passing it on to their friends. We are all suffering. All of us have a cost of living crisis. 34:47 Our money's not going as far as it should. 34:50 And yet they still have this loyalty towards this buffoon. 34:53 I just, I've got no, you know, I just, I can't. And I understand, and the same extent, he's like, he's wrapping himself, he's furling himself in the Union Jack. Oh, yeah. But then he does that at the same time as he completely maligns Prince Philip's funeral. 35:10 They're telling us that up is down while laughing at our puzzlement because we know that up is not down. We know that down is down and up is up. But they're telling us the opposite of that while laughing at our befuddlement. It's just painful. 35:27 The thing is, Nick, these people, our country, they're almost like they're brainwashed. 35:32 This isn't a matter of patriotism. 35:35 Because if he was a true patriot, first of all, right... Whatever that bloody means, I've got no idea. He wouldn't have been treating the Queen the way he did, right? So he will attach himself to any populist ideology, just get himself elected. 35:52 I'll tell you what it is. It's as simple as people do not want to experience loss of face. If you tell someone that the decision that they've made is stupid, then their reaction will not be to say, oh, yes, you're quite right, I should re-evaluate that decision. Their response will be to dig their heels in ever harder and double down on that decision. 36:17 Nick, I might sound condescending. Listen, all of you out there, you are stupid, right? Because you are poorer because of him. 36:27 See, you're not helping. 36:28 I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it as it is. 36:30 It doesn't make any difference. In fact, you're making it worse. 36:34 I know, but it irritates me because it's just like my wife is a teacher. I've got doctors in my family. We've got people dying left, right and centre, right? And they still go on about he's doing his best and he's like, oh, he's got a precision light. How can you go to a party and not know you were there? 36:51 How can you receive cake and not know whether you've actually had cake until Sue Gray's report is published? 36:57 Oh, and that's it, Nick. And at the same time, then he had to go at the leader of the SNP and call him fat. 37:03 Well, I mean, really? 37:07 I mean, that was funny, but for all the wrong reasons. I know, it shows you he's a complete sociopath. He can't see what he is. All right, thanks a lot, John. You need to calm down because it's not going to get any better any time soon. 37:20 In fact, it's only going to get worse. I do believe that it is a loss of face thing. I mean, people, when presented... It's the same with the EU thing, Brexit. 37:30 You're never going to make people admit that they made the wrong decision, regardless of what that decision has meant to their lives. They can lose their jobs, lose their business. 37:41 They can be thrown out onto the streets in destitution, and they will still say... 37:46 well, thank goodness that we're not in the European Union anymore and you will ask them why and they'll say, democracy. 37:55 They'll never admit having made a mistake because it's too much loss of face. They'll just dig their heels in. I bet that Boris Johnson's fans can't wait to vote for him again because it will be one in the eye for the other side. 38:12 Does it matter if you lose as long as the other side loses too? That's the important part. 38:19 And it didn't used to be this way. 38:23 I don't know whether it actually did happen two years ago when Boris Johnson took over and the Trumpification of this once great nation happened really, really rapidly. 38:34 I don't know whether he is. 38:36 His lead, his leadership was actually the start of that in this country. 38:43 But it seemed to be somewhat coincidental. If it wasn't him personally, what done it to us? 38:50 Actually, we did it to ourselves. Everything that ails society, everything that is wrong with the planet is our fault. I mean, you can say that, oh, you know, what power do we have? We have no power. We're just the little people, not leprechauns. 39:05 But it's all our fault. We could fix it. We could. 39:09 Young people, you could have fixed it. This didn't even have to happen. 39:13 None of this needed to happen. But young people refused to go and vote. Why? 39:18 You tell me. 39:19 Because it's so boring. I'm just bored. I don't want to. 39:26 Older people, those over the age of 60, nothing would have stopped them. Storm Malik would have been blowing their house down and they'd have left their home and crawled there. 39:40 to vote but younger people couldn't be bothered why? because I don't know they're all the same morons we're surrounded by morons and so what do you get? you get to go on a march and hold a placard and you get to glue your face to the road because you know that'll work You should have voted in the first place if you wanted a change and not just said, well, you know, they're all the same, can't be bothered. 40:16 That's exactly what they sound like, by the way. 40:19 I've spoken to young people and they all sound like that. It's a fact. 40:24 And we only deal in facts on this show. Correct. 40:28 0345 6060 973. 40:32 Mary texts, I'm amazed. People are surprised by Carrie's poor choice of interior design and clothing. You only need to look at her choice of man to see she has no taste at all. Staggering, says Mary. 40:50 What do you think of that, Bodge? I can't comment on that. 40:54 He agrees with you in every way, shape and form, Mary. Just can't bring himself to say it until Sue Gray reports. 41:01 I don't believe there is such a person as Sue Gray. 41:05 I believe they're just saying that name over and over again to hypnotise us to the truth that there is in fact no such person as Sue Gray. Who is Sue Gray? 41:14 Where is Sue Gray? 41:16 And on those very excellent and pertinent questions, that's it. If you subscribe to this podcast, the next episode will get squirted up your life as though by magic on Monday. No. 41:28 Tuesdays and Thursdays now. Get with it, Abbott. Tuesdays and Thursdays. 41:35 There's also the podcast that I do with Carol McGiffin, which is called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol, in which the delightful Carol McGiffin and I try to solve people's problems while guffawing like seals. If you have a problem you want us to solve, then simply send it to the following address, nickandcarol at global.com, N-I-C-K-A-N-D-C-A-R-O-L at global.com, and prepare to be totally satisfied. Ask for it by name on an internet near you. What's your problem with Nick and Carol? And now there is the whole show plus offering, which is the Friday and Saturday shows as a podcast advert free. 42:13 Plus you get an extra show, which comes out on a Monday, which is wiping up all of the messages that I couldn't get through on the air on Friday and Saturday. Plus the news stories that I couldn't get to either that comes out on a Monday and And you get a newsletter posted straight to your inbox on a Friday, which sort of wipes up the week's business and launches us into the weekend. It's called Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. 42:40 It's on Global Player or the new LBC app, both apps free from your app store. Ask for Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. I think you'll love it. 42:52 And I'll be back on the radio Friday, Saturday, Sunday night at 10. And until then, I'll be seeing you. Bye-bye. 42:59 This has been a global production.